1. It’s good to have some fights. Fights help to air differences and keep the relationship from being routine. What is important is that there are more positive and enjoyable moments times than conflicted ones.
2. Fights are more effective if couples have a matching or compatible fighting style. The researcher John Gottman PhD has identified three main fighting styles- Validators, Volatile and Conflict Minimizers.
3. There is a correlation between couples that fight more in the beginning of their relationship and couples that stay together for longer. This is because these couples they learn to resolve differences.
4. When you disagree, make the goal of the conversation to understand where the other person is coming from. That way it isn’t a contest about who is right and who is wrong but a discussion of your different needs.
